Teen Voice – Addicted to My iPod

According to the dictionary app on my iPod touch, an “addiction” is “the condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.” Well, I had one big time. It seems like I have struggled with something forever, and no matter what I do, I can never overcome it. For some people, it’s drugs or alcohol, but for me, my Achilles heel has always been my iPod touch. It may not sound like a big deal, but it was the first thing that really let me connect with the world outside of what I knew. To a twelve year old, an iPod represents much more than a game system, it represents the next step in connecting with your friends through apps like Facebook, Twitter, or Textfree. It demonstrated my parents finally trusted me enough to give me outside access to the Internet.

There were several boundaries my parents gave me about using my iPod. We talked about appropriate texting, the kind of websites to avoid, and when I couldn’t use it. They set a firm rule of no iPod after 9PM. That sounded easy enough to me. What could be so hard about 9PM? Little did I know that would be the most difficult rule to keep.

Every night my iPod was to be plugged in in the Living Room. Out of sight; out of mind was the intention. But every night my iPod felt like a magnet pulling my hand towards it. Unable to resist any longer, one night I took it.

I decided to hide it until my parents went to bed. After they did, I pulled it out and started to play. Aglow with excitement at my deception, I figured that I could do it again, since I didn’t get caught. This happened night after night, until it became a full-blown addiction.

Like a zoo animal that had broken free and was roaming the countryside, I was able to do as I pleased without any consequences for more than a month. Then one night my dad came into my room to say goodnight and caught me playing on my iPod. He didn’t do anything but hold out his hand, but I knew what he wanted me to do. I sheepishly put the iPod in his hand, and he walked out with a disappointed look on his face.

The relationship I’ve always had with my dad had been one of complete trust, but after that night, I had broken that trust in a few short seconds. I felt like I was hopeless, like nothing that I did would help at all. I had dug myself into a pit, and for that night there was no way out.

The next day I woke up and completed my school on autopilot. I was distracted the whole day thinking at some point my dad was going to drop the hammer. At the end of the day, he called me into his room to talk. This was it. First would be the talk, then evidence against me, and lastly the punishment. I felt like my life was over. The whole way to his room I felt like I was trudging to the gallows to be executed.

“Bailey, what were you doing with this in your bed? Why was it so important for you to have this?” asked my dad. When he saw that I had no real answer to give, he continued the questioning.

I felt ashamed because the whole time I had known in the back of my mind that I was not supposed to have the iPod after hours. The fact that I had become addicted to my iPod without even realizing it came crashing down on me like an alcoholic needing another drink. I always wanted to be on my iPod.

My only response was a sheepish, “I’m sorry, dad.”

Instead of rolling his eyes or yelling, he told me that I should not hang my head, and that everyone makes mistakes, even him. I was too shocked to speak. Why wasn’t he punishing me? Why wasn’t he freaking out? Instead he talked to me with compassion and mercy. In fact, he was talking to me as though I was a real person and not just a kid that can’t do anything right. It reminded me of a verse that I read in the Bible. Psalm 103:8 says, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness.” I had heard about forgiveness in church, but now it was being lived out in my life.

I was amazed. No one had shown me this kind of total forgiveness before. My dad told me I would continue to make mistakes, but through God’s forgiveness I could forward from them. I had no experience with being completely forgiven. Prior to this there was always a catch. Most people say, “I’ll forgive you if you do not do it again.” Instead, he just said to me, “Its okay, but next time please tell me if you are struggling with something.” He showed me that trust is one of the most important things that someone can have.

Throughout the whole ordeal, I was stressed and felt completely helpless. All of that disappeared when my dad showed me grace and understanding. While he had forgiven me, it was not just a get out of jail free deal. I’ve had to work hard towards breaking the habit, and I’ve failed several more times. But even when I stumble I know I’m not in it alone. My dad is right there with me.

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Raising Responsible Teens

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