5 Tips for Communicating Better with Screens

Misunderstood. This is how I feel far too often when trying to communicate with someone via a screen. Whether its on Facebook, a text message, or an old-fashioned email, more times than not what I said is not what the recipient heard. When it comes to communicating with your family made up of multiple generations, all of that misunderstanding can be avoiding by following a few simple tips.

1. Keep Your Emotions in Check.

Expressing feelings of anger, frustration, or disappointment to your child through a text message is never going to get the response you hoped for. If anything, it will only make the situation worse. Now your child will have permanent proof of your disappointment; proof that they will come back to reinforce their own feelings of disappointment in themselves.

From time to time, your teenager is going to do dumb, impulsive, and irresponsible things. Its part of the maturing process that we all had to go through. When those impulses go haywire, resist sharing your feelings online or in a text. It’s fine to say, “I need you to come home immediately,” or “We need to talk tonight at dinner” to communicate that there is an important conversation that needs to happen between the two of you. But in the head of the moment, resist sharing those emotions online or through a text.

2. Be Clear About Your Expectations.

If your child has a cell phone, I’m sure you already noticed how often they ask via a text message to extend a privilege instead of calling you. It’s less threatening to them to text, “Can I stay out a little later?” instead of hearing your voice say yes or no. The problem is what is a “little later?” With who? Where are you going?

Any responsibilities, plans, or expectations should be clearly spelled out. It’s impossible to hold your child to a standard if they are not aware of the standard. The easiest thing to do when you get that text asking for a little more leeway is to say, “I need you to call me first.” That’s it. Don’t explain or elaborate with yes or no. Having your child call you models for them how to speak to other authority in their life and it gives you a few minutes to gather your thoughts and explain your position.

3. Talk Like a Grownup

I am the epitome of the hip dad. My clothes, music, and love of pop culture all reflect my love of youth. But when it comes to communicating with my teens I always use real grownup educated words. When you talk like a mom or dad, it communicate authority. You can still be playful and obnoxious with them without using emojis with devil-horn smiling faces, lollipops, and dancing starfishes. Teenagers created that language; let them keep it.

4. Keep Your Messages Short and Sweet

The last thing you want is for your message to your teen to be ignored. The sure fire way of insuring your message is not read is by rambling on and one. They don’t need to know every event in your day, be reminded to do their chores every time, or given a heads up what you’re making for dinner. You want to make sure that when they get a message from you that it’s something that will catch there eye quickly and succinctly. Whether it is a note telling them how wonderful they are or a change of family plans, make it quick.

5. Never air your laundry in public.

We have all been frustrated with bad experiences at the checkout line or customer service. Maybe you don’t agree with every decisions of government or your boss. The absolutely last place your should be talking about it as a parent is on social media. Your kid sees everything you write. The way you communicate is a model to them of how to communicate. The way that I get respect from my teenagers is not by demanding it. It is by modeling respect to others even when I’m frustrated. When respect is given, respect is received.

Even though scripture doesn’t address technology, when Paul says in Philippians 2.5 that “in your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” these are some simple principles of respect, prudence, and maturity that we apply to all of those messages we send everyday.

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Raising Responsible Teens

Tech Savvy Parenting

How You Always Meant to Parent

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Raising Responsible Teens

Tech Savvy Parenting

How You Always Meant to Parent